21 June 2012
Last night the 26-year-old woman known as Lady Gaga,
Mother Monster, our generations provocateur, or just Gaga rode into town
for the first of four performances at the 30,000 capacity Allphones
Arena in Sydney. The icon outshone, out-sang and out-danced not only her
unwarranted shepherd Madonna but also all of our expectations, no
matter how besotted some of us were to begin with. Bound to a horse made from two of her twelve dancers’ muscle, Gaga was carried onstage and the extra-terrestrial/religious iconography began, a contrast both as nonsensical as it was enthralling.
Two tracks in and she was receiving simulated cunnilingus on an office desk (for Government Hooker) before giving birth to herself through a blimp-sized lower body. Predictably, a huge gay fan base turned up along with thousands of women paying homage through their outfits, and when the cameras zoomed in on three under-tens while Gaga lifted her skirt and felt herself up, no one blinked, not even the girls’ mother.
“I am not a creature of your government Australia but I am you. I am everything that you love about yourself and everything that you hate and I am not even real. I'm just an image that your mind has created. I would not be here without your creativity.” Gaga’s message rung true and clear: she was soliciting freedom, equality and unity to a crowd who knew too well their choices were limited by their government.
With each track we were treated to another of the pop singer’s chameleon-like transformations, of which there were thirteen during this edition of the Born This Way Ball. From wedding dolls which metamorphosed her gigantic castle into a Swiss clock during Bloody Mary; to the motorcycle-cum-piano Gaga sprawled against and rode around the stage in Love Game, or the revised meat-dress accompanied by a ‘meat couch’ supposedly made of all her past lovers and the two oversized meat grinders chewing her dancers legs and referencing Larry Flint in Alejandro, Gaga may make millions from her fans in Sydney alone but it’s clear exactly where the majority of her money is spent.
“I understand that it's crowded but get your pussies off the floor!” Gaga screamed before Telephone. Never eclipsing her dancers, Gaga’s choreography was slightly messy but this only heightened the adoration; she is her zealots, a lover of music who in her own words, doesn’t “give a fuck what we think.”
One of the most improvised parts of the ball was the most beautiful, after a flurry of gifts in the form of letters, clothing, Australian flags, four wallets and even an iPhone were thrown onstage, Gaga sat with her fans and started putting the jackets on and going through the wallets. “You threw your compact at me? Who are you, Courtney Love in the ‘90s?” Gaga laughed. After inviting a hoard of fans backstage she joked: “This is very stressful for me, I only know how to sing and dance at the same time.”
After final track Scheiße, Gaga stood centre stage, her dancers beside her and her machine gun brassiere bouncing with each breath. “I have extracted all your information we are ready to leave G.O.A.T (Gaga Owned Alien Territory) and invade Earth.”
And just as an encore should be, her return to stage was all for her little monsters. Out of breath and dancing out of time, Gaga and fellow dancer Clarence jumped and paraded through her castle for Edge Of Glory before selecting a fan in a bubble dress to join her onstage for the last encore Marry The Night. “I was right to pick you, I knew you were a big fan,” she told the bare-foot, inconsolable girl.
After promising to always come back, to always sing live and to always play her own instruments Mother Monster and her unusually large piano-guitar disappeared beneath the stage. You’d be hard-pressed to find another concert as equally moving and beguiling, as it was trite. To keep us guessing for almost three hours whilst letting us into the unique planet she chooses to inhabit, that is what will keep her fans coming back to this star. A star who worships music and her monsters in equal parallel.
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